HEY.
ENGLISH
GEOGRAPHY
LITERATURE

OVER !

Tomorrow is MATH, & I hate MATHEMATICS !
The only chapter I like is graph . THE BEST .
Yeah, hope I can do well .
I really regreted not reading the ANIMAL FARM text last time.
When I tried reading finish it yesterday, it's like so meaningful and started to understand .
Now reading a book Chinese Cinderalla . A very good book, I read 100 pages since in school till now. In a day. WOOTS .


anyway . SHOT TO FAME ON WEDNESDAY ((:
HOPE I CAN PLAY THE KEYBOARD BETTER ,
((: & help erJie's band to win ((:

Anyway, talking to my beloved sister , FAITH ((:
She's nice . From CHC . & IT ROCKS .

Anyway, got to go ((: BYES .

HEY; THIS FEW DAYS HAS BEEN WORK FOR ME.
If you see me at a coffee shop working, I don't really care whether you despises me or not.
Cause i can see someone that always in school play with me , saw me there, totally just shut up.
I just helping my auntie/mother.
I really pity my mummy. Really feel sad for her, so , POOF, instead of studying at home,
I am at 828 working from after school to 8.45++ .
Then after that , ErJie take over .
It was fun though.
I just helping my mummy not because of money, but because I love her .
Despise me, anything . Cause It shows you don't even care for your mother.
Regardless in offices , ETC .

AND I REALLY SORRY NICOLE . I DID NOT KNOW UNTIL I READ THE PART.
DONT REALLY KNOW WHETHER YOU WOULD READ BUT,
I AM REALLY SUPER SORRY.





I like making a lot people angry with me nowadays .
Anyway, I FOUND ANOTHER PERSON WITH THE SAME BIRTHDAY AS ME .
AND HE IS JUST 48min BORN BEFORE ME.
ITS SO COOL OKAYS.
AND HE IS CAVAN TONG!!!
MY COOL TWIN . In my class , though not close to him but, IT STILL COOL OKAY.
24/11 ROCKS !

and 59 DAYS TO OUR BIRTHDAY CHERYL, CAVAN AND DARREN !!!!
ITS SO COOL . I ain't that lonely .
((x

Anyway , Got to go . Bye .

Today was Chinese, wrote Qo1 & Qo3.
The Qo3 was about "不听话的结果"
Wrote about mummy. Really hope I could score ,
Totally screwed up my letter writing.
I WANT TO KILL THE PERSON WHO SET THE PAPER.
but is wrong to kill ..
Anyhow set one. Write than got problem, set wrongly,
than after 30 min tell the class is error.
from "向他/结的....."
to "向他解释...."
WHAT IS THAT LA. TOTAL DIFFERENT MEANING AND EXPECT ME TO CHANGE MY WHOLE LETTER WRITING.
PLEASE LUSH, I WRITE SO NICE READY YOU TELL ME WRONG.
So I dont care , carry on writing and slowly changing to the meaning of "向他解释...."
I thought is ask him how he ... not to tell him.
Comfirm just get a pass grade like 10/20 .



But I hope I could score for the composition .
Tomorrow is geography, quite scared but confident .
I have to get A1 for geography this time .
& Chinese have to get A1 again.
& Literature to get A1 also .

Daddy say if I get 3 A1/A2 , he would give me $50.
Its surely worth it .

Hope I could get at least in the middle of the whole level .
Mid-year I was like the last 30 laa .
Like terrible expecially I fail overall .

ANYWAY. JY FOR TOMORROW GUYS( ESPECIALLY 1H )
CAUSE YOU GUYS DONT EVEN LISTEN IN CLASS .

Anyway, go to bathe, bye .

THANKS JIE FOR BRINGING ME((:
Really enjoy myself with W459, erjie's cell.
Really nice people, Super envy Jie for having such nice friends.
Really hope that I could continue going. Maybe , maybe not.
Really really hope mummy would really allow us to go church .
Really really pray that It would happen, with my faith in God .
Really really hope that I can do well for my exams.

Today was English paper. No more english anymore.
But hope I could do well, Did really the best I could give.
I know my english bad , but don't say me like that luhs.
Sad one seh .
TOMORROW CHINESE!!! WOOTS. compo--
Break free of english, The paper, looks easy, and really hope I can do well .

MUST REMEMBER TO BRING E-DICTIONARY & CHINESE DICTIONARY TOMORROW.
My chinese maybe good, but my memory is aint good, cant even remember how to write .


anyway,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GISELLE!!!(((((:
Dont angry with me luhs. sorry)):

Birthday coming ((:
62 more days! Comfirm nobody celebrate with me, dont think can open party.
Sadded, BUT GOD IS THERE ((: PRAISE THE LORD.

Went to Changi airport just now, suppose to be studying, but never .
Tired speaking chinese, oh my. Terrible,
Short tongue, like talk like weird one.

Wah, I realy dislike Mdm. Chen, she anyhow scold me luhs .
Example..
;My socks, can see SHS, she ask me pull higher, so what I chairman of her class seh.
{{AND TO SOMEONE; I DONT SUCK UP TO HER.
IF YOU SAY ME THAT , YOU ARE ALSO SUCKING TO MR CHIA(C&J), MR KWOK.
SAY ME THAT, I SHOOT BACK AT YOUR FACE. YOU THINK YOU BIG I CARE,
UNHAPPY I CHAIRMAN, YOU DONT EVEN FIT ALSO. LAST TIME I SCARED TO ARGUE WITH YOU, NOW, I DONT CARE, SO WHAT YOU RICH, DONT GIVE ME THAT FACE .
WANT EVERYTHING YOUR WAY, IN MY LA LA LAND . WANT ME HELP YOU, I SAY NO, GIVE ME THE FACE, I CARE YOU , I AM NOT YOUR SERVANT . }}
(you should know who you are.)
;I not even talking, you just shout my name, Anyhow scold people one luhs.

Even got people say you got motherly love, my dreams luhs.





BORED. Got my wallet on friday . Cool uh? very nice luhs.
FINALLY GOT A WALLET. Haha.


ANyway, need to bathe. Bye (((((((:


LOTS OF LOVE,
JINGYING

IS THERE ANYONE COMING HOME!!!???
YOUR DEAR LITTLE SISTER/DAUGHTER IS SUPER ALONE AT HOME!
AND I AM SCARED ! ESPECIALLY BEHIND ME IS STAIRCASE.
HELP! SOMEBODY? HELP !!!!
I ALSO CANOT SLEEP WHEN NO ONE IS AT HOME!
HELLO????!!!! NOBODY IS ANSWERING ME !!!!!!
IT'S ALREADY 10.34!
ER JIE HAVEN'T COME HOME ! HELP!

------------------------------------------------------------------
ITS 11 . NO ONE IS HOME YET .

NEVER MIND, LETS POST SOME LAST TIME PICTURE ((:

I MISS MY LONG HAIR! DONT REMIND ME OF IT!
LAST TIME SO LONG LUHS, WHAT IS MY HAIR NOW~ SHORT!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

OKAYS. ITS 11.06, I AM STILL ALONE !
HELLO, I NEED SLEEP, I CANT SLEEP WITHOUT ANYONE WITH ME! WHAT IF SOME KIND OF MAD PEOPLE COME IN AND ATTACK ME! YOUR POOR LITTLE SISTER IS POOF!
GONE! HELP!!!!
NOW IS 11.07~~~~~~~~~~~
11.08~~
11.09~~
11.10~~
11.11~~
11.12~~
11.13~~
11.14~~
11.15~~
11.16~~
11.17~~
11.18~~
11.19~~
11.20~~
11.21~~
11.22~~
11.23~~
11.24~~
11.25~~
11.26~~
11.27~~
11.29~~
11.29~~
11.30~~
11.31~~
11.32~~
11.33~~
11.34~~
11.35~~
11.36~~
11.37~~
11.38~~
11.39~~
11.40~~
11.41~~
11.42~~
11.43~~
11.44~~
11.45~~
11.46~~
11.47~~
11.48~~
11.49~~
11.50~~
11.51~~
11.52~~
11.53~~
11.54~~
11.55~~
11.56~~
11.57~~
11.58~~
11.59~~
12.00~!!!!!!!!!!!! MIDNIGHT~!

ITS MIDNIGHT!~ NOT ONE HOME YET!

HEYHEY,
SCHOOL WAS COOL TODAY.
FEELING SOOOO SOOO MUCH BETTER.
ANYWAY, IF I CANT FIND A GOOD FRIEND, AT LEAST A GOT A GOOD GROUP OF FRIENDS.
GISELLE , ISABELLE, HUIWEN. THEY TREAT ME LIKE VERY GOOD,
SO, PEOPLE, OPEN YOUR EYES AND FIND FRIENDS THAT APPRETIATED YOU.
TODAY WAS FUN , HAVE CHAPEL AFTER SCHOOL.
ANYWAY, THIS IS TO YOUR JESVINA!
DONT BE SAD. IT'S GOD'S FATE FOR YOU!
I WOULD ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU!
YEAH. *MOLEST* GISELLE, HUIWEN & ISABELLE && ELYA!
ELYA HIT SUPER PAIN OKAY. SO GO NEAR HER, AHAH.
GISELLE SUPER CUTE LUHS. HAHA.
HUIWEN , RUN, COME ON! RUN , AHAH.
ISABELLE, DONT HAVE TO RUN AFTER YOU. YOU SIT BESIDE ME, SO ,
NO USE RUNNING , HAHA.
YEAH, WENT TO GIANT WITH JESVINA AFTER CHAPEL TO BUY VOLLEYBALL.
WE GOT SUPER GOOD TEAM WORK LUHS. HAHA, COULD ACTUALLY HIT THE BALL CONTINUESLY 10 TIMES.


CANT WAIT TO GO JIE'S CHURCH TOMORROW , SHE PROMISED TO BRING ME.
SHE ASKED ME TO GO HER CHURCH. SO MAYBE SWITCHING CHURCH.
HOPE REALLY CAN GO THROUGH THIS WITH ER JIE .
SERIOUSLY CANT WAIT .
SHE BETTER DONT LAST MINUTE TELL EM DONT WANT TO BRING ME.
I WOULD KILL HER.
HAHA, BUT LOVE HER MORE(:

MADE CAVAN'S BLOG SKIN FOR HIM.
I MAKE ONE ! HOPE HE IS HAPPY WITH IT. HAHA .


YEAH, ANYWAY, I HAVE TO STUDY, BUT I CANT.
I DONT HAVE THE MOTIVATION, AND IT FEELS LIKE ITS NOT COMING.
LIKE NOT IMPORTANT , IN MY HEART, BUT IT IS!
I WANT TO STUDY BUT I CANT.
I WANT TO KILL THE TEACHER LUHS. THE TEST THAT MY CLASS DID,
CONSIST OF 50% OF ENGLISH, I GOT 16/36,
SO IF 50% IS 21/50.
WHERE CAN LIKE THAT! I REALLY HOPE I DONT FAIL ENGLISH.
REALLY REALLY.
I WANT TO GET 3AS , SO DADDY GIVE ME $50 ,
AND MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING.
GOT COUNCIL CAMP IN 23OCT!
YAY, ANOTHER CAMP.

MONDAY STARTING OF EOY!
GOD! GIVE ME MOTIVATION, KNOWLEDGE AND STRENGTH! NOT ONLY THAT! I HAVE TO STUDY ON MY OWN, OR MY PRAYER WOULD NOT COME TRUE. HAR.

ANYWAYM NEED TO STUDY! (dont think i would after ending this post)
HAHA. ANYWAY, BYE ((:

THIS IS ME

I've always been the kind of girl
That hid my face
So afraid to tell the world
What I've got to say
But I have this dream
Right inside of me
I'm gonna let it show, it's time
To let you know
To let you know

This is real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, now
Gonna let the light, shine on me
Now I've found, who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me

Do you know what it's like
To feel so in the dark
To dream about a life
Where you're the shining star
Even though it seems
Like it's too far away
I have to believe in myself
It's the only way

This is real, This is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, now
Gonna let the light, shine on me
Now I've found, who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me

You're the voice I hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing
I need to find you, I gotta find you
You're the missing piece I need
The song inside of me
I need to find you, I gotta find you

This is real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, now
Gonna let the light, shine on me
Now I've found, who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me
You're the missing piece I need
The song inside of me (this is me)
You're the voice I hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing
Now I've found, who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me



---------------------------------------------------------------

I feel this song very nice luhs,
actually like really discribes me , except the missing piece .
Cause I like no one ((:

YOYOYO!
EOY ARE COMING!

NOT ACTUALLY STUDYING YET.

BUT LIKE SLACKING, CANT GET MYSELF MOTIVATED TO STUDY.

WATCHING TELELVISION. ACTUALLY NOT.

ANYWAY, ABOUT MY PREVIOUS POST,

THANKS FOR THOSE WHO ACTUALLY CARED AND ASK ME.

YEAH, THANKS, I DO FEEL BETTER NOW. IN FACT, I FEEL MUCH BETTER.
SPECIALLY THANKS TO ER JIE, I REALLY FEEL THE LOVE FROM HER NOW.

AND GET WELL SOON JIE. I KNOW YOU WILL SEE THIS!

IF YOU DONT, I WILL KILL LOVE YOU!

HAHA, BUT THANKS FOR ALL THE ENCOURAGEMENT THOSE PEOPLE GAVE ME.

NOT MUCH THOUGH, BUT YEAH, EVEN A GUY WOULD ASK ME WHETHER I'M OKAY.

THE GIRLS ARE DEAD . HAHA.

ANYWAY, NEED TO STUDY, BYE ((:

Hello once again .
Computer gone for 2 weeks ++
People spamming me , some P5 kid . Alexander's sister .
I dont really bother, she's trying to talk logic with me, about FATS .
Like anything, but replying , asking and blah blah blah .
My life is complicated now . Not going to say but, if you happen to know,
just keep it to yourself . Just some school, family stuff .
My life is terrible now. If I could really have a friend always there for me ,
though I know God is always there .
Got my blades, super cheap, bad quality .
So, cant do any stunts . like going backwards .
maybe its new, but I still think is a bad quality.
Buy by my own money.
Have to be independent now is I want to continue going church,
dont ask me why, sad story .
Cried a few times these days, felt life was meaningless.
No one even care for me , except God .
Mummy, daddy, erjie, da jie, kor, close friends, is like nothing now.
Their first piority would never be me.
What could be the meaning of life? Only God is motivating me to move on with life.
Fall out with mummy, cause she knew I go church already .
Never mind , actually deciding to write everything here to vent my anger.
Mummy says that she is not giving me money anymore, for anything.
including allowances, to the people I owe money to,
I am sorry , I will try my best to pay you . No idea how, but there is always a will.
Daddy, could never give me money, he never did, only for going out.
But I decide not to take money from anyone, including home food.
Mummy's money, so , I am not eating.
Already been 2 days, did not even touch any food excluding breakfast.
Dinner, only drink water. including soup but not the ingredients .
Lunch, always out, busy now days.
Just pray I wont pass out and these days would be over .
As soon as mummy allow me to go church, than I would start eating dinner.
Though it sound fake, but its real , for real.
Dont know why I'm writing it here, but just to share my feelings,
Though Erjie is in the same state as me , mummy know that she goes church,
but I think mummy still gives her money .
I just feel I am nothing in this house , no point staying ,
ever thought of leaving, like popo says, if you want to continue going church,
Leave this house. But, where can I go? sound so dramatic,
but yet, it's true. I really feel , seriously nothing,
nothing in school, at home, in Band, in Council(not really but a bit)
I always hear that I go in trumpet because of my discipline . which mean bad.
But , you never know how I feel hearing all these comments, negative.
I ever thought of quitting, but I like band, music,
I feel very useless. People say I become councillor because I am chairman.
But it does not prove anything,
I really dont want people to look down on me , but whatever I do, nobody cares. (ONLY GOD)
Surely nobody notice the change from primary school till secondary school.
People always says I am noisy, but , it's my personality .
WHy cant people just understand?
I'm being look down everytime. Nobody understands.
Surely nobody had been in my shoes before.
Sorry to erjie if you see these.
Your first piority i always your friends, did you ever care how I feel?
the day I walk with you to school with your friends, I wanted to see the picture you told me to get lost. I am starting to feel that what Hanif say is true. Even my sister dont likes me .
I was always there for everyone everytime. but when I am sad , no one is ever there((ONLY GOD)
These few days I am trying to make myself happy, but , people always dampen my spirits.
People always never notice how big the impact they make on me when they say something to hurt my heart. Like PERSON A, the PE teachers said that she had very good potiential for sport.
She is also in band, the pe teacher asked her ot join sports. she is considered my good friend.
I was talking to her, "dont betray band , okay?" she one sentences shoot back at me, " Your business mehh?"
I was thinking to myself, I really mean nothing to anyone.
In class PERSON B & C is always the people who always take my job. Though I dont mind, but , cant they leave something for me , in music class, in camp, I didnt even lead the cheer .
The council friends ask me why I never lead, I could never answer,
music , I would also have nothing to reply them if they ask me .
Poeple never will know how I feel, if mama never go, things would be different,. why must she leave, I could tolerate the caning , scolding .
Nobody know even cares for me , (ONLY GOD) I know all those caning and scolding was all because mama care for me. I miss the days I was controled,
I dont want freedom, I just want somebody to care for me, plan my things. Scold me,
but nobody does now , I really miss those days .
Actually I really wonder, is there such things as true friends , it seems that I dont even have one,
no one was there when I need somebody to cry on. No one comforts me when I am crying.
I am not as strong as you all think .
Watching television, got to go bye .